Is this really wad god wants?

Hey everybody back to post...
Well I have been reading someones blog...
I felt really sad...
Eeling Jie you've lost me last time just because of something and it hurts me and you...
But now we have each other again I don't want to lose you as a jie again anymore...
But I also don't want to see you break apart....
It hurts seeing you like this...
Last time Me, You, Xanne, and Mummy Geraldine were very happy then because of something got Me and You apart...
But after sometime we were back again but this time who broke apart was Mummy and Xanne....
Why must this happen?...
Well after so long I never talk to mummy I don't know why but last few weeks see her at school got talk to her but now no...
I just miss mummy when she give me that kind of look -.o ( Stupid Me )
Well I just miss all my fun times I had with everyone...
Why did I not keep all my friends well why...
Why must it wait till I lost everybody and become more mature to think and keep all my friends close WHY...?
Well now I just don't want see Ling apart or my other friends pls...
Why must god do this?...
Can't I take all the hurts while they take all the love?...
I rather see them all be happy then sad...
I'm already ready if I really can take all the hurt I will take it just for everyone but most for my most loved GirlFriend and Eeling Jie...
I really am ready...
Some nights I will cry when I think of Eeling Jie or my Baby...
I just don't know wad to do how to help...
I would just want to help them take all the bad things and they will take all the good things...
But I don't know how...
Well maybe is because of me everything tuurned out this way?...
Maybe its just all my fault?...
I should have been beaten to death in the first place why am I still here?...
Well sooner or later I will be gone from this world I will be the one helping them from now on taking the hurts and they taking the loves...
Well I will end here for now... Bye...

Eeling Jie pls be happy no matter wad okay...
I am always here... Pls don't fall apart...
Well Baby Mun Hui you saw my post pls don't feel bad or anything...
Don't ever cry for me is not worth it okay...
Just let me be gone...
I'm just afraid after today will there still be a tomorrow for me?...